You Do You - Leading well by letting folks be their authentic selves

You do you.

Ever heard that phrase? It gained popularity with the under 20 crowd a few years back, I think to replace YOLO (you only live once) since that was so 2015. But, while its original intent was a kind of, “do whatever you want, I’m not gonna judge,” type phrase, I think the literal translation is beautiful and Biblical.

You should do you. You should be whom exactly God has wired you to be, designed you to be, and called you to be. Yet all too often, we try to be something we are not because of external  pressure. And perhaps even worse, we as leaders take people we like, and try to get them to fill holes on our team, not based on gifting but based on what is useful for us. We ask people to adjust who they are to suit our tastes and needs.

Paul explains it this way, “If the foot says, ‘Since I am not a hand, I am not part of the body,’ it does not lose its membership in the body because of that. And if the ear says, ‘Since I am not an eye, I am not part of the body,’ it does not lose its membership in the body because of that. If the whole body were an eye, what part would do the hearing? If the whole were an ear, what part would exercise the sense of smell? But as a matter of fact, God has placed each of the members in the body just as he decided. If they were all the same member, where would the body be?”  ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭12:15-19‬ ‭NET‬‬

https://www.bible.com/107/1co.12.15-19.net

My family and I have been living in an apartment waiting for a house we hope to purchase to be built. When we sold our previous home and downsized to an apartment, we packed up a lot of our kitchen gadgets and put them in storage with the rest of our furniture that wouldn’t fit in our smaller space. And for the most part, we’ve gotten by without all the gratuitous kitchen paraphernalia until the other day when my daughter wanted to make muffins. Our muffin tin is packed miles away in a storage container. Undeterred, she decided she was going to just pour the batter into cupcake liners and that would get the job done. And while we never tested the theory, she was probably right. If we placed the liners on a cookie sheet, it might’ve done the trick, but it wasn’t the most efficient way to do the job or the right tool for the job. Not to mention, we were asking a lot of those flimsy liners by expecting them to do a job they simply weren’t designed for; it wasn’t a wise strategy.  And yet we as leaders often make this mistake with our teams.

Now there is nothing wrong with trying to recruit volunteers or employees based on what your organization needs. But as leaders we can easily fall into the trap of asking people to fulfill roles they weren’t designed for. We ask a hand to be a foot and that can quickly lead to frustration and discouragement.   And while we are prone to ask volunteers or staff in our churches or organizations to do more than they are capable of, we often fall into the opposite trap and expect too little, limiting people’s growth.  

Often our intentions in asking less of folks are good. We don’t want to be too demanding or burn people out. Yet, as I was reminded by a talk given by Andy Stanley at Catalyst a couple years ago, stress is not usually the result of a full calendar. Stress is often a result of doing too much of the wrong things. 

High quality employees and volunteers can usually function and make a difference in areas of the organization where there is a need, even if it’s not something they are passionate about or the tasks are in their wheelhouse. And there's nothing wrong with temporarily asking someone to take responsibility for an important area outside the scope of their passions and talents. But, you have to intentionally develop an exit plan early on in the process. If you keep a high-flyer in a position of need over a position based on gifting, you will inevitably see them burnout.

In the end, we need to respect the way God has wired people by allowing them to contribute in the way God designed them. It’s a beautiful thing for people to make a difference in the life of another person or in an organization. It’s a whole other level of satisfaction when folks contribute in a way that is meaningful to them. We as leaders should desire and foster meaningful opportunities for our staff and volunteers where they can experience this type of deep authentic fulfillment.  And that might mean allowing them to serve or work elsewhere so they can contribute in a way that resonates with their God given purpose and design.